How Joe Burrow Reacted to Tom Segura Comparing Football Injuries with Him

Tom Segura walked into a dinner full of NFL players and made a tactical mistake that he is, to his credit, fully willing to admit on the Rich Eisen Show.

The story starts at the Tom Brady roast, which Segura did with Bert Kreischer, and which Segura called one of the funniest roasts he has ever seen. He gave Jeff Ross the credit. "He is the roast master general." Segura believes the format is back, that Kevin Hart agreeing to do the next one keeps the engine running, and that the Brady event proved something about Netflix going live. The numbers, he said, were outrageous. "It made people realize that when you go live on that platform it does something different than just releasing something." Specials drop. Live events demand attendance. "Tune in now" pulls people in.

The night also produced some celebrity sightings Segura has clearly never gotten over. Hanging in a back room with Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman while Randy Moss walked around. "What are we doing here?" he asked Rich. From that night, Segura got tighter with John Feliciano. Through Feliciano, who connects everywhere in NFL circles, he has befriended Joe Burrow.

Which is how Segura ended up at a dinner in Austin with Burrow, Feliciano, and Nick Bosa.

Segura's first observation was about walking into the restaurant behind Bosa and getting a window into a different kind of fame. "His hair was flowing. I was watching people who were eating and they were like, no one's ever looked at me like that." Bosa, he reminded Rich, went to Ohio State. Texas was still acting like he was a folk hero.

Then the dinner started, and the players started talking about injuries.

Burrow opened with the disc that shifted in his neck. Bosa went to a knee. Feliciano cataloged three broken ribs. The conversation rolled through the table. Segura, in a moment he immediately regretted, decided he had something to add.

"Oh yeah, I hurt my tailbone."

He knew the second the words were out of his mouth that he had earned what was coming. The room got quiet. Bosa, deadpan, asked the only question available.

"Did you get that falling down the stairs?"

Segura tried to recover. "No, man. It was punt coverage in high school." Bosa was unmoved. "Punt coverage?" Segura doubled down. "It was Florida. It was real football. It was real deal." The table proceeded to roast him for thirty straight minutes about not being qualified to enter the injury conversation. Segura, by his own description, surrendered immediately. "Whatever you want to say is true. Sorry."

The save came from Bosa, who pivoted to what he had been into lately. Books. Segura, sensing daylight, leaned in. "Yeah, books are cool. Is this your first time discovering books?" Bosa kept the bit going. "I've been playing football so much that I've never really read books. But they're great." Segura promised to send him a list.

The whole story is a five-minute reminder that the world Burrow lives in is small, sharp, and unforgiving when you try to play in it without the right credentials. Segura is funnier for having tried.